Kiss Me Deadly (1955)
Directed by Robert Aldrich, Screenplay by A.I. Bezzerides
Velda: She’s dead…but I’m not dead. Hey, remember me?
Now, THIS is what we call a film noir. Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer played by Ralph Meeker is one of the ultimate detectives. Mike Hammer is not a good guy, he’s a sleazy private dick who works on small fry divorce cases and makes enough money to have a fine set of wheels (or two) and an assistant named Velda (Maxine Cooper) who is incredible. Velda is the kind of dame that makes you wish you could be a private detective as long as she came with the job.
At any rate, Mike Hammer is a dirty sleaze who makes a good bit of dough selling pictures of people in compromising positions but he’s not a completely unsympathetic worthless waste of humanity because his best friend (other than Velda) is a cop, Pat Murphy (Wesley Addy) and Mike Hammer is loyal to his friends. (As you'll see later.) Also, he’ll stick his neck out for someone whose in trouble, which is how this caper gets underway in the first place when he gives a ride to Christina Bailey, a girl in trouble played by a very young Cloris Leachman. Turns out everyone’s on the trail of some object and everyone who gets in the way of it winds up dead.
The thing that redeems the anti-hero Hammer is his loyalty, both to his friends and to those luckless victims he barely knew but who he thinks are equally worthy of his time and thus his extreme efforts at getting the people responsible for destroying them. Mike Hammer, then, is a man who refuses to let people become expendable. He must give their lives some meaning by at least giving them the benefit of avenging them, and in so doing maybe he gives his own life direction and meaning that he wouldn’t otherwise have when all he’s doing is taking dirty pictures and driving around.
This film isn’t perfect, but it’s a genuine hard-boiled classic. Sure, the heart of the mystery ends up being a ridiculous chase for some radioactive material (not in the original book) but, then, these days that plot about chasing down baddies who are trying to get a box of radioactive material pretty much describes every action film and the entire run of 24. It’s not just a Cold War paranoia plot, it's part of our national psyche.
And the truth is that Kiss Me Deadly doesn’t live or die by that aspect of the story…it’s all about Mike Hammer and his friends, enemies and the people in between.
Meeker’s Hammer is a great performance, and Cooper’s Velda is a pretty strong character, too. The thing that makes the world of a film like this is the cast of supporting characters who give it flavor, and Kiss Me Deadly has a lot of flavor.
Mike’s mechanic Nick (who loves the fast cars “Va-Va-Voom!”) is played by the colorful Nick Dennis with a zest that makes you quickly see why Mike likes him.
And then there are the toughs…Charlie Max (Jack Elam) and Sugar Smallhouse (Jack Lambert).
That’s right, you get Jack Elam thrown into this movie as a bonus. Tell me that isn’t great. (Go ahead, try to tell me that so I can punch you in the face.) And Sugar Smallhouse is just one of the greatest character names this side of a Bond villain. Sugar Smallhouse. Just say it over and over again and tell me it doesn’t make you happy. (Go ahead and tell me, so I can punch you in the face.)
Sugar: Dames are worse than flies!
Speak for yourself, Mr. Smallhouse. (Go ahead, speak for yourself so I can punch you in the face.)
Granted, Kiss Me Deadly does make me wish I could punch more people in the face, but it also makes me wish I could be as cool as the detective who gets kissed by people before he knows their names.
Mike: Don’t be afraid, I won’t bite.
Friday: You don’t taste like anybody I know, but it’s alright, in fact it’s wonderful….Seconds?
Mike: Okay.
Now that’s what I call detective work. Friday (Marian Carr) is half-sister to Carl (Paul Stewart) the main villain. Friday is trouble, the kind of trouble that people go looking for and don’t regret looking for until it’s too late and even then…well, at least you got something for your troubles.
There’s even a girl named Cheesecake (Leigh Snowden) at Carl’s house. Carl knows how to do business, alright, sitting by the pool with his collection of dames and henchmen. (I’d like to punch him in the face, too.)
Also making an appearance in this film is Strother “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate” Martin.
I could go on about every other actor’s performance here and how interesting they are, but I think the point is made.
This incarnation of Mike Hammer isn't perfect (Mickey Spillane apparently didn't like the film-mostly because of the radiological material plot) but it's good--Mike Hammer isn't a saint, but that's what makes him more real, it's what gives his character depth, and it's what makes him such a desirable source of emulation. I mean, it's impossible to be Superman and really difficult to be a perfect hero, but to be a guy who can take a punch, give two back and then kiss a dame he never met before--well, that's still within the bounds of possibility at least.
So, Kiss Me Deadly should be on your must see list. And if you don’t put it there, I will punch you in the face.
Special Features
1. Theatrical Trailer
Girls fleeing in terror from things beyond description!
(That would be a great title for a 1950s Sci-Fi film.)
He was out to get men who tortured women…
(And the women who loved them…)
This woman’s lips, cold as steel, lethal as a gun…
(and yet soft as a tastycake…)
2. Alternate Ending
This is a badly butchered cropped ending that makes little sense. I’m not sure why anyone thought this ending would be good.
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