1941 (1979)
Directed by Steven Spielberg, Screenplay by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale
On December 7, 1941, the Naval Air Arm of the Imperial Japanese Fleet, in a surprise attack, struck the United States Naval Base at Pearl Harbor and hurtled an unsuspecting America into World War II.
American citizens were stunned, shocked and outraged at this treacherous attack. On the West Coast, paranoia gripped the entire population as panic-stricken citizens were convinced that California was the next target of the Imperial Japanese Forces.
Major General Joseph W. Stillwell, Commander of the Army Third Corps, was given the responsibility of defending Southern California. Army and Marine units were mobilized. Anti-aircraft defense batteries were manned and made ready. Civilian Defense operations sprang into action.
For the first time since the Civil War, American citizens prepared to defend their homeland against an enemy whose first assault was expected anywhere, at any time, and in any force…
Call me Cicero. My defendant in this case is Steven Spielberg’s 1941, a film that has been unfairly maligned and viciously slandered by humorless ignorant drones whose malicious lack of reason has infected generations of people into believing that 1941 is a bad film. In fact, it is a brilliant film on several counts, but more than that, it is a dangerous film—dangerous, I say, because it might make people think and apparently in this republic we are afraid of letting people think, especially while they’re laughing.
You might think my defense of 1941 is extreme, but the lies and uninformed myths surrounding it warrant such a defense.
My defense rests on three points: First, this is possibly the best film about wartime paranoia and hysteria ever and second, it is a compendium of classic comedy gags and finally, this film marks a firm date after which apparently the last World War II veterans with a sense of humor passed away.
Let’s briefly deal with the second point as it is the least important, but the most commonplace myth surrounding this film. The film has been called un-funny. Why? The common reason given is that the gags never stop. The uncut version of the film clocks in at 2 hours and 26 minutes. And Spielberg directed the film as if someone said to him that he’d never be allowed to direct another comedy so he’d better get in every gag he’s ever wanted to put in a film. The thing is, all the gags are funny—they’re a damn sight funnier than most comedies have been since, partly because a lot of the sight gags and physical humor are classic bits that would have been familiar to Hal Roach and Mack Sennett. Despising that kind of comedy is like despising Charlie Chaplin or the history of cinema and cinematic comedy. If you don’t like a good old-fashioned gag, then there’s something seriously wrong with you. The only thing better than one gag is seven gags and if you don’t believe that then you probably also don’t believe that a pie in the face can be funny. Also, it’s not like 1941 isn’t laced with plenty of intellectual and character based humor. Again, the film clocks in at over 2 hours and it manages to follow a half-dozen subplots. Does that make your brain ache? The first argument against 1941 was that it was too simplistic. Then the argument was that it was too complex? Well, which is it? And then came the argument that much of the intellectual satire went over the heads of its intended Animal House fan audience. Thirty years of that kind of argument has led us to a wasteland of Pauly Shore, Carrot Top and Will Ferrell’s ass. I can’t wait for someone to start arguing that the humor of Scary Movie 17 went over the head of its audience.
I will return to the question of comedy later, but first I have to go back to the satire.
1941 is simply put the best film ever about wartime paranoia. I would stand this film up against any such film, including such classics as Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Its depiction of a paranoid home front looking for invaders under every pile of leaves would be funny if it wasn’t also so familiar. Since 2001 this film has become even more salient, because the kind of reckless fear exhibited in this film set in the month after Pearl Harbor has once again become part of our daily lives. Only now, it’s like we’re in a permanent state of December 8th 1941 because the nature of the threat lends itself to such paranoia with even greater aplomb. In both cases, the threat is real. There really are people trying to get us. But in both cases the extreme reactions can (and in the case of this film actually DO) mask the real threat which is usually smaller and less apocalyptic than the threat that we imagine. In 1941 the reaction to the threat does more damage to the city of Los Angeles than the actual attack does. Whether it’s a pilot chasing phantoms from Fresno or a Colonel imagining secret facilities in Pomona the wild-eyed imaginations are put up for serious satire. Maybe this film isn’t so funny given the fact that we have only recently tried to live with the spectacle of a Secretary of State showing off pictures of trailer parks on the Tigris and imagining them to be mobile biological laboratories. I guess secret Japanese airfields in Pomona aren’t that ridiculous to people who would easily believe in similar things today. But then, that just makes my original point more clear—the satire in this film is still salient and is even more biting now than it was 30 years ago.
So, why do people insist on repeating the mythology that 1941 is a worthless film? It’s because all the World War II veterans with a sense of humor died in 1979. I know, this is a gross exaggeration, Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller didn’t die until recently and I am certain there are many veterans still with us who have a sense of humor, but the great process of generational sanctification sealed by Tom Brokaw’s declaration of “The Greatest Generation” has made it all but impossible to deal with the war in any term other than holy communion and ancestor worship. It’s not really the fault of the veterans themselves so much as those who have come after them and can’t think of the old days in any realistic way. The thought that patriotic Americans in December 1941 would be more concerned with chasing tail than fighting the Axis and saving the world for democracy is anathema to the saint-worshippers. I think 1941 is a good landmark—because before this film you could do anything with World War II. Catch-22, From Here to Eternity, Slaughterhouse Five (all written by veterans, mind you) all came before the sense of humor died. Kelly’s Heroes portrayed American soldiers who decide to break behind enemy lines for a bank heist because they believe that if they’re going to die in a war they might as well have a chance at making it worth their while. That’s hardly the stuff of Band of Brothers. But then even the original Ocean’s Eleven from 1960 featured a unit from the 82nd Airborne led by Danny Ocean reuniting to knock over a casino. Try getting away with that today. Maybe the real greatest generation were all the World War II veterans with a sense of humor who made films like 1941 possible. And I have to believe there were still enough of them to allow 1941 to be made, it’s just that by the time it was released there weren’t enough of them to support it and they weren’t vocal enough to beat back the sanctimonious harpies who decided to turn this film into a “flop.” (Of course, one reason the film flopped is that the version released in the theatres was about an hour shorter than the full film, so I can see how it would have been somewhat confusing.) Still, between the funny de-boned critics and the sanctimonious prigs this film got a raw deal, both in terms of its entertainment value and in terms of its intellectual quality. And while Spielberg had to go so far as to spend much of career having to kowtow and make amends with the guardians of the holy flame and pretend that this film didn't happen, I choose to remember it as being an important part of remembering the history of a time that is fast being rolled over into holy national myth.
So, maybe now you believe that 1941 is an important film, but what really makes it fun?
The intricacy of the plot and characters, of course.
Let’s take it from the top:
1. The Jaws parody. Susan Backlinie (the skinnydipper from Jaws) is a member of the Polar Bear Club and shows up on the coast of Northern California early on the morning of December 13, 1941 to take a nude dip in the frigid waters of the Pacific. Something ominous approaches (John Williams scored this film as well as Jaws) next thing you know she’s holding on for dear life to the periscope of a Japanese submarine. This is a better parody than any parody film has ever offered (in part because it is self-parody.)
2. The submarine I-19 is the wackiest ship in the Imperial Japanese Navy. It is a decommissioned U-Boat sold to the Japanese (thus they have some problems operating it). It is commanded by Comander Akiro Mitamura (Toshiro Mifune). I’m going to say that again—the submarine captain is TOSHIRO MIFUNE. Mifune has to deal with a German naval observer, Captain Wolfgang von Kleinschmidt (Christopher Lee). I’ll say that again, too—CHRISTOPHER LEE. And although this pair spends the entire film speaking only in Japanese and German respectively they are comic gold. Mitamura is upset that he missed out on Pearl Harbor so he’s looking for something honorable to destroy. His helpful crew suggest that they strike Hollywood. Kleinschmidt objects, saying that Hollywood is inland, but the Japanese won’t listen to him because they’re determined to make their plan work. (Apparently, the Mitamura’s officers are Japanese neo-cons.)
3. Meanwhile at Malcomb’s Café the two most incompetent dishwashers in the world are destroying everything they touch. Wally Stephens (Bobby Di Cicco) is practicing dancing so he can do his movies for the girl of his dreams, Betty Douglas (Dianne Kay). His buddy Dennis DeSoto (Perry Lang) is as much of a menace as he is. Wally is from the wrong side of the tracks, as Mr. Malcomb (the incomparable Dub Taylor) reminds him. Wally is the Tramp and he’s got no chance with Lady.
4. Also at the Café we are introduced to our US Army transportation unit. They are led by Sergeant Frank Tree (Dan Aykroyd) a talkative pseudo-intellectual who memorizes equipment manuals and has a lot to say about the course of the war. His credo is that he can’t stand to see Americans fighting Americans. His crew includes Corporal Chuck ‘Stretch’ Sitarski (Treat Williams) who has an aversion to eggs and an attraction to the ladies, especially Betty Douglas (and who wouldn’t be attracted to her?), Private Foley (John Candy) a Southerner, Hinshaw (Walter Olkewicz) and Reese (Mickey Rourke). They are later joined by Private Ogden Johnson Jones (Frank McRae) making their motorpool unit the first Army unit to be integrated.
5. The USO is hosting a dance where movie producer Meyer Mishkin (Iggie Wolfington) will hand out a contract to the best dancer. The radio announcer for the dance is Joe Flaherty and the USO hostess is Penny Marshall. The only person not in this film is Kevin Bacon and seeing as how half the cast of Animal House is in this film and Kevin Bacon is in Animal House…well, you get the point. Even Patti LuPone makes an appearance. Miss Fitzroy (Penny Marshall) tells the girls that they’ll have to dance with people they wouldn’t have given a second thought to before because these boys are now all in uniform.
6. This message is reinforced at the Douglas home when Betty’s father Ward (Ned Beatty) gives her the most awkward father-daughter dating speech ever. The look on Betty's face when her father basically tells her to put out as much as possible for the sake of the country is priceless.
7. There’s a great scene in a department store where Wally is attempting to shoplift a zoot suit and Dennis notes that the girls are flocking to anybody in a uniform, thus setting up a key element later. The sheer panic in the department store when a false air raid alarm is sounded is worth a thousand essays on war paranoia.
8. Wendie Jo Sperber as Betty’s man-hungry friend Maxine is great.
9. Michael McKean and David Lander (TV’s lovable Lenny and Squiggy) play anti-aircraft gunners Willy and Joe).
10. The Douglas household is rounded out by Joan Douglas (Lorraine Gary) who doesn’t like guns in her house, which makes the fact that her house gets an anti-aircraft gun put right next to it that much funnier.
Also, there are the two young Douglas boys who build Jap traps in the yard and are the prototypes for the Red Dawn Wolverines.
11. The local Civil Defense warden Angelo Scioli (Lionel Stander) has converted his car into an A-Team style armored car and he puts Murray Hamilton and Eddie Deezen on top of the Ferris wheel of his amusement park to keep on the lookout for any invasion.
12. Slim Pickens is Hollis P. Wood, a Christmas tree farmer who is kidnapped by the Japanese so that he can point the way to Hollywood. There’s a scene where he pretends to take a dump that should have won him an Oscar.
13. Meanwhile, Robert Stack is General Stillwell and his aide Captain Loomis Birkhead (Tim Matheson) is trying desperately to get some action with the lovely Donna Stratton (Nancy Allen) but she won’t even go to second base with anyone unless she’s in an airplane. Thus, Loomis Birkhead is looking for a plane.
14. The man with a plane is Captain Wild Bill Kelso of the Army Air Corps (John Belushi). Kelso is a one man force for destruction. He is utterly sure that there are Japanese planes in California. He’s so sure that he shoots Elisha Cook’s radio and says that it lies when it says that it’s all a case of war nerves. Kelso is the ultimate catalytic character and Belushi turns in a hilarious performance.
15. Finally there’s Colonel Maddox (Warren Oates) who also has a plane and believes his base in Barstow is in danger of being overrun by Japanese paratroops from the legendary airstrips in the alfalfa fields of Pomona. Colonel Madman Maddox was apparently running American foreign policy in 2002-2003.
16. Blink and you’ll miss James Caan as a sailor in the big inter-service/zoot suit riot.
17. Be on the lookout for directors James Landis and Samuel Fuller in bit parts. (Fuller is easy to recognize as the Interceptor commander) whereas Landis can be easy to miss given the fact that he’s covered in dust.
In good comic form the many subplots get weaved into and out of each other and culminate with the destruction of a couple of blocks of downtown LA, a bunch of AA fire being shot at two (friendly) planes (both of which are shot down) and the destruction of a Ferris wheel by a submarine which also manages to torpedo a tank. The tank claims that it sank the submarine (because it was last seen submerging) and the Douglas family home is wrecked. The paranoia has been exorcised (and exercised, for that matter). Wally wins the dance contest only to discover his inner patriotism and he puts aside Mishkin’s contract in order to enlist. (Thus, character growth.) I’ll have to admit that it’s almost as exhausting to get through this as it is to make it through Saving Private Ryan, but in a way, it takes watching this film to correct the sanctimoniousness of the newer film. Private Ryan’s rescuer says “Earn this” but maybe the way to earn the life afterward is to remember the past without sepia-tinted lenses. The greatest generation wasn’t made up of saints in uniform and they weren’t always fighting a crusade. There was paranoia and absurdity and downright hilarity. Young people spent as much time wondering how they were going to get laid (and with whom) as they did wondering about how they were going to save the world. To get to the end, we started with a bunch of paranoid people expecting an invasion from every empty field and flinching at every shadow across the sky. It took us a long time to get to the point where we got our confidence back and knew what was a threat and what wasn’t. It took a long war to sort everything out from the fear that broke our peace. Maybe the greatest tribute we can give to the “greatest generation” is to give them back their character and three-dimensionality and have a laugh while we’re at it.
“It’s going to be a long war,” Stillwell declares at the end. Aren’t they all?
Bonus Materials
1. The Making of 1941
This is about 103 minutes about the origins of the film and it’s a bit dated (it’s from the Laser Disc version) and it doesn’t defend the end product enough for my taste, but it’s a good bit of background and has some nice behind the scenes footage. Interviews with Spielberg, Bob Gale, Robert Zemeckis, John Milius, John Williams and others. This film featured the first use of the Louma Crane in a film and the special effects are fantastic so the filmmaking information here is choice.
2. Deleted Scenes
A riotous scene with Joe Flaherty at the USO, followed by some terrific scenes with the Japanese shore team at the Christmas tree farm. There are some fun bits here.
3. Production Photographs
An extensive collection of shots from behind the scenes.
4. 1941 Comic Relief
A series of production shots with comic strip dialogue balloons.
5. The Marketing of 1941
Don’t skip the great art work. The caricatures and posters for this film are classics.
6. The Reviews
A collection of words by idiots who really missed the point and who prove that most professional film reviewers are a worthless waste of oxygen.
7. Production Notes
Scroll through for some trivia if you really care.
8. Cast and Filmmakers
The bios are a bit dated now. This function of special features has long since been outmoded by the advent of the internet and IMDB and Wikipedia and such things.
9. Theatrical Trailers
These are real gems, especially the teaser that was made before they had settled on Belushi’s character name. Here he’s named Wild Wayne Kelso instead of Wild Bill. Belushi is perfect in this faux-propaganda short. “Your country needs you, son. You gonna let her down? You think your best girl’ll look good in a kimono, eatin’ teriyaki off a straw place mat? How’d ya like to eat sauerkraut for the rest of your life?”
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Worse Santa
Bad Santa (2003)
Directed by Terry Zwigoff, Screenplay by Glenn Ficarra & John Requa
I’ve been to prison once, I’ve been married—twice. I was once drafted by Lyndon Johnson and had to live in shit-ass Mexico for two and a half years for no reason. I’ve had my eye socket punched in, a kidney taken out and I got a bone-chip in my ankle that’s never gonna heal. I’ve seen some pretty shitty situations in my life, but nothing has ever sucked more ass than this. If I’d known I’d have to put up with a bunch of screaming brats pissing on my lap for thirty days out of the year I would have killed myself a long time ago. Come to think of it, I still might. Where I come from, we didn’t celebrate Christmas, not because we were Jewish, but because my dad was a worthless coward fucking asshole whose idea of a present was a daily punch to the back of the head. He did teach me how to crack a safe, though. My dad never did shit with his life, so he took it out on me. You could say I’m no different and I’d have to say you’re right, but at this point it’s too late to start over. Funny, how things work out. It’s fucking hilarious.
If there’s one thing that America loves, it’s an alcoholic man dressed as Santa Claus. If there’s a second thing that America loves it is strip clubs and thus Bad Santa delivers on both counts. If you think the alcoholic Santa Claus is a recent debasement of a beloved Christmas icon I can only refer you to one of my all time favorite Twilight Zone episodes “Night of the Meek” which features Art Carney as a drunk department store Santa who wishes that the kids in the slum where he lives could have just one moment of joy and then finds that his bag gives people the gift they most want and, of course he turns the corner and finds some reindeer and thus he gets the gift of giving. Bad Santa, in its own way, is at least as touching as that story in the redemption of the alcoholic Santa. Also, it has a scene in a strip club, so it’s a winner on both counts.
Now, there are multiple versions of Bad Santa floating around out there. First there’s the original rated version, then came the extended edition “Badder Santa” and finally there’s the latest version which is Terry Zwigoff’s director’s cut which is actually shorter than the other two cuts but does add more things apparently. In this case, we’re talking about the extended Badder Santa (though I am more than willing to revisit this film in the future to talk about the director’s cut.)
Why am I so willing to come back to this? First of all, the film is just hilarious. It shares some structural similarities with Art School Confidential including excellent use of classical music in the soundtrack and the opening monologue which in this case sets up Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) as possibly one of the most miserable wretches since…well, since Art Carney in Night of the Meek. For every jolly person who thinks they really are Santa who dons the suit, there must be a hundred miserable slobs like Willie.
Willie and his little person friend Marcus (Tony Cox) are seasonal thieves who rob malls and department stores every Christmas by getting work as a Santa and an elf and then busting into safes and loading up on merchandise. This year, Willie decides that he’s through and that he’s moving to Miami to quit this life of crime, but then another year passes and when Marcus calls Willie once again makes his miserable way to the next job, this time in sunny Phoenix.
Then there are the two Laurens. Lauren Tom plays Lois, Marcus’s mate and thus the third member of the heist crew. It’s great to actually see her in a role (though I do still love her in Futurama) and Lois is a deliciously evil part. Lois is pure greed, the useless vain kind of greed that finally gets stuck under Willie’s craw.
Then there’s Lauren Graham as Sue, the bartender with an extreme Santa fetish who hooks up with Willie in Phoenix and thus gets stuck in a different happier craw. This movie could have just been about Lauren Graham as a bartender in Phoenix with a Santa fetish and I would have loved it. As it is, Sue is the first bizarre step in Willie’s redemption as a human being because despite her odd desire to have sex with Santa in a parking lot (or maybe, because of it?) she’s a genuinely nice person.
But, of course, it’s a kid who redeems Willie, and the kid in question is a curly headed fat kid named Thurman Merman (Brett Kelly). Thurman is a dopey kid who looks like he’s being fattened up by the witch in the forest from the Hansel und Gretel story. Thurman’s pathos is heightened by the fact that his mother is in heaven with Jesus and the talking walnut (don't ask) and his father (Ethan Phillips, who I last remember seeing on Benson) is climbing mountains (which is the euphemism for being in jail) and he is left home alone with his near comatose grandmother (Cloris Leachman). Needless to say, Thurman is treated like crap by everyone, including Willie, who exploits Thurman’s need for a friend by moving in and thus, incidentally creating the conditions for his own redemption. When Thurman gets a black eye Willie suspends his own attempted suicide to go berserk on the kids who did it.
I beat the shit out of some kids today, but it was for a purpose. It made me feel good about myself. It was like I did something constructive with my life or something, I dunno, like I accomplished something.
Somehow, there’s something more earnest about this kind of redemption than the treacle covered kind that is usually trotted about. (Maybe because Thurman is so earnestly pathetic “I know there’s no Santa, I just thought that maybe you’d like to give me a present ‘cause we’re friends.”) At any rate, Willie is redeemed (more or less) and in a way he and Sue and Thurman and Grandma form something of a family or at least a circle of friends which stands in sharp contrast to the thievery and material greed exhibited elsewhere in this story. And isn’t that the sort of thing that Christmas is really all about?
And, if you’re more in the mood for comedy than redemption I should note the fine performances by John Ritter as the befuddled mall manager who tries (unsuccessfully) to fire Willie and Marcus when he catches Willie fornicating in a dressing room and Bernie Mac as the double-dealing mall security inspector, Gin, who is treated by Marcus to an exceptionally arcane expletive.
MARCUS: Sketch it up, you fucking moron. Fucking Leonardo da Vinci.
GIN: What’d you call me, thigh-high?
MARCUS: I called you a fucking guinea homo from the 15th-fucking-century, you dickhead!
I’ve been waiting a long time for the name Leonardo da Vinci to be used as an expletive and that moment has arrived not a moment too soon.
And yes, I know that Bernie Mac and John Ritter are now both dead and that’s sad but they’re very much alive in this film (well, except for the part where Bernie Mac gets killed) so you can enjoy them here.
Also, keep on the lookout for Bryan Callen as the Miami bartender who gets in a fight with Willie and Alex Borstein makes an appearance (all we need is Yeardley Smith and all the big animated shows would be represented). And I personally got a kick out of Ajay Naidu as the “Hindustaini Troublemaker” who either thinks Santa is hitting on him or is hitting on Santa or some sort of drunk confusion, but it’s absurdly funny.
At any rate, Bad Santa is for people who think The Ref was too mushy, but still want to have a heartwarming tale of redemption.
Special Features
1. Deleted and Alternate Scenes
1. Santa Trainer Scene
Sarah Silverman as a Santa Trainer delivering Santa’s Ten Commandments:
(1. No Alcoholic Beverages
2. Know Names of Reindeer
3. Do Not Smoke in Costume
4. No Swearing
5. Absolutely No Flirting
6. Coax a Smile from the Child
Sadly we’ll never know what the other four are, but I’m sure not murdering the children or fornicating with big and tall women in their presence are in there.)
2. Willie Leaves Department Store
A few takes of a security guard saying goodnight to everyone leaving a department store and hassling Willie.
Guard: Those pants are awful big, you wouldn’t be trying to steal nothing, would ya?
Willie: The only thing I got in here something to cripple your sister with.
3. Screaming Baby
The screaming baby is a method actor, no doubt.
2. Behind-the-Scenes Special
Zwigoff is fun to watch here and the producers John Cameron and Sarah Aubrey provide some good background. And you get a snippet from that Easter classic, Sling Blade.
3. “Badder Santa” Gag Reel
About a minute and a half of extra frivolity that will keep you from ending your miserable life for about 3 minutes afterward one would hope. You know, the goal of all comedy.
4. Outtakes
It’s hard to distinguish some of these from the gag reel but call it what you will, it’s pretty funny.
Trailers “Sneak Peeks”
1. Dimension Home Video Sampler Trailer
2. The Ladykillers
Good trailer.
3. Scary Movie 3
I guess if it was a choice between going to the unemployment office or being in this movie, I’d have sucked up and been in it along with apparently every other actor on the face of the earth.
4. My Baby’s Daddy
I’ve seen this trailer enough times now that I might as well have just seen the movie instead.
Directed by Terry Zwigoff, Screenplay by Glenn Ficarra & John Requa
I’ve been to prison once, I’ve been married—twice. I was once drafted by Lyndon Johnson and had to live in shit-ass Mexico for two and a half years for no reason. I’ve had my eye socket punched in, a kidney taken out and I got a bone-chip in my ankle that’s never gonna heal. I’ve seen some pretty shitty situations in my life, but nothing has ever sucked more ass than this. If I’d known I’d have to put up with a bunch of screaming brats pissing on my lap for thirty days out of the year I would have killed myself a long time ago. Come to think of it, I still might. Where I come from, we didn’t celebrate Christmas, not because we were Jewish, but because my dad was a worthless coward fucking asshole whose idea of a present was a daily punch to the back of the head. He did teach me how to crack a safe, though. My dad never did shit with his life, so he took it out on me. You could say I’m no different and I’d have to say you’re right, but at this point it’s too late to start over. Funny, how things work out. It’s fucking hilarious.
If there’s one thing that America loves, it’s an alcoholic man dressed as Santa Claus. If there’s a second thing that America loves it is strip clubs and thus Bad Santa delivers on both counts. If you think the alcoholic Santa Claus is a recent debasement of a beloved Christmas icon I can only refer you to one of my all time favorite Twilight Zone episodes “Night of the Meek” which features Art Carney as a drunk department store Santa who wishes that the kids in the slum where he lives could have just one moment of joy and then finds that his bag gives people the gift they most want and, of course he turns the corner and finds some reindeer and thus he gets the gift of giving. Bad Santa, in its own way, is at least as touching as that story in the redemption of the alcoholic Santa. Also, it has a scene in a strip club, so it’s a winner on both counts.
Now, there are multiple versions of Bad Santa floating around out there. First there’s the original rated version, then came the extended edition “Badder Santa” and finally there’s the latest version which is Terry Zwigoff’s director’s cut which is actually shorter than the other two cuts but does add more things apparently. In this case, we’re talking about the extended Badder Santa (though I am more than willing to revisit this film in the future to talk about the director’s cut.)
Why am I so willing to come back to this? First of all, the film is just hilarious. It shares some structural similarities with Art School Confidential including excellent use of classical music in the soundtrack and the opening monologue which in this case sets up Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) as possibly one of the most miserable wretches since…well, since Art Carney in Night of the Meek. For every jolly person who thinks they really are Santa who dons the suit, there must be a hundred miserable slobs like Willie.
Willie and his little person friend Marcus (Tony Cox) are seasonal thieves who rob malls and department stores every Christmas by getting work as a Santa and an elf and then busting into safes and loading up on merchandise. This year, Willie decides that he’s through and that he’s moving to Miami to quit this life of crime, but then another year passes and when Marcus calls Willie once again makes his miserable way to the next job, this time in sunny Phoenix.
Then there are the two Laurens. Lauren Tom plays Lois, Marcus’s mate and thus the third member of the heist crew. It’s great to actually see her in a role (though I do still love her in Futurama) and Lois is a deliciously evil part. Lois is pure greed, the useless vain kind of greed that finally gets stuck under Willie’s craw.
Then there’s Lauren Graham as Sue, the bartender with an extreme Santa fetish who hooks up with Willie in Phoenix and thus gets stuck in a different happier craw. This movie could have just been about Lauren Graham as a bartender in Phoenix with a Santa fetish and I would have loved it. As it is, Sue is the first bizarre step in Willie’s redemption as a human being because despite her odd desire to have sex with Santa in a parking lot (or maybe, because of it?) she’s a genuinely nice person.
But, of course, it’s a kid who redeems Willie, and the kid in question is a curly headed fat kid named Thurman Merman (Brett Kelly). Thurman is a dopey kid who looks like he’s being fattened up by the witch in the forest from the Hansel und Gretel story. Thurman’s pathos is heightened by the fact that his mother is in heaven with Jesus and the talking walnut (don't ask) and his father (Ethan Phillips, who I last remember seeing on Benson) is climbing mountains (which is the euphemism for being in jail) and he is left home alone with his near comatose grandmother (Cloris Leachman). Needless to say, Thurman is treated like crap by everyone, including Willie, who exploits Thurman’s need for a friend by moving in and thus, incidentally creating the conditions for his own redemption. When Thurman gets a black eye Willie suspends his own attempted suicide to go berserk on the kids who did it.
I beat the shit out of some kids today, but it was for a purpose. It made me feel good about myself. It was like I did something constructive with my life or something, I dunno, like I accomplished something.
Somehow, there’s something more earnest about this kind of redemption than the treacle covered kind that is usually trotted about. (Maybe because Thurman is so earnestly pathetic “I know there’s no Santa, I just thought that maybe you’d like to give me a present ‘cause we’re friends.”) At any rate, Willie is redeemed (more or less) and in a way he and Sue and Thurman and Grandma form something of a family or at least a circle of friends which stands in sharp contrast to the thievery and material greed exhibited elsewhere in this story. And isn’t that the sort of thing that Christmas is really all about?
And, if you’re more in the mood for comedy than redemption I should note the fine performances by John Ritter as the befuddled mall manager who tries (unsuccessfully) to fire Willie and Marcus when he catches Willie fornicating in a dressing room and Bernie Mac as the double-dealing mall security inspector, Gin, who is treated by Marcus to an exceptionally arcane expletive.
MARCUS: Sketch it up, you fucking moron. Fucking Leonardo da Vinci.
GIN: What’d you call me, thigh-high?
MARCUS: I called you a fucking guinea homo from the 15th-fucking-century, you dickhead!
I’ve been waiting a long time for the name Leonardo da Vinci to be used as an expletive and that moment has arrived not a moment too soon.
And yes, I know that Bernie Mac and John Ritter are now both dead and that’s sad but they’re very much alive in this film (well, except for the part where Bernie Mac gets killed) so you can enjoy them here.
Also, keep on the lookout for Bryan Callen as the Miami bartender who gets in a fight with Willie and Alex Borstein makes an appearance (all we need is Yeardley Smith and all the big animated shows would be represented). And I personally got a kick out of Ajay Naidu as the “Hindustaini Troublemaker” who either thinks Santa is hitting on him or is hitting on Santa or some sort of drunk confusion, but it’s absurdly funny.
At any rate, Bad Santa is for people who think The Ref was too mushy, but still want to have a heartwarming tale of redemption.
Special Features
1. Deleted and Alternate Scenes
1. Santa Trainer Scene
Sarah Silverman as a Santa Trainer delivering Santa’s Ten Commandments:
(1. No Alcoholic Beverages
2. Know Names of Reindeer
3. Do Not Smoke in Costume
4. No Swearing
5. Absolutely No Flirting
6. Coax a Smile from the Child
Sadly we’ll never know what the other four are, but I’m sure not murdering the children or fornicating with big and tall women in their presence are in there.)
2. Willie Leaves Department Store
A few takes of a security guard saying goodnight to everyone leaving a department store and hassling Willie.
Guard: Those pants are awful big, you wouldn’t be trying to steal nothing, would ya?
Willie: The only thing I got in here something to cripple your sister with.
3. Screaming Baby
The screaming baby is a method actor, no doubt.
2. Behind-the-Scenes Special
Zwigoff is fun to watch here and the producers John Cameron and Sarah Aubrey provide some good background. And you get a snippet from that Easter classic, Sling Blade.
3. “Badder Santa” Gag Reel
About a minute and a half of extra frivolity that will keep you from ending your miserable life for about 3 minutes afterward one would hope. You know, the goal of all comedy.
4. Outtakes
It’s hard to distinguish some of these from the gag reel but call it what you will, it’s pretty funny.
Trailers “Sneak Peeks”
1. Dimension Home Video Sampler Trailer
2. The Ladykillers
Good trailer.
3. Scary Movie 3
I guess if it was a choice between going to the unemployment office or being in this movie, I’d have sucked up and been in it along with apparently every other actor on the face of the earth.
4. My Baby’s Daddy
I’ve seen this trailer enough times now that I might as well have just seen the movie instead.
Monday, May 17, 2010
The Real Doctor Wong
The Ref (1994)
Directed by Ted Demme, Screenplay by Richard LaGravanese & Marie Weiss
The Ref represents Ted Demme's greatest work. It's a shame he died when he did, but we'll always have The Ref.
The first time I saw The Ref (way back in 1994) it was March, which was either really late or really early for a Christmas movie, but at the time I didn’t really think of it so much as a Christmas film as a heist comedy. At some point in the next few years, though, The Ref became a holiday tradition for me. It fell into the kind of familiar exercise in nostalgia that marks the most well-worn holiday staples, and it didn’t hurt that it began to remind me of the Christmas season in New England, which I found to be exceptionally idyllic in its scenery. And The Ref has the added benefit of being one of the few Christmas movies featuring a foul mouthed thief covered in piss. (Cat piss, to be specific.)
The great saving grace of The Ref is that it’s no less redemptive than any of the more earnest and serious holiday films and yet it manages to avoid the worst excesses of schmaltz. At its core, The Ref is about reconstructing broken family, but if you’d like to get theological about it, its also about restoring a sense of kindness and genuine faith to a culture that is much more concerned about status and wealth than the core values that are packaged in that palatable sampler we call “The Christmas Spirit.” Take the delightfully evil mother Rose Chasseur (Glynis Johns). She represents everything that has gone wrong with traditional conservative values. All she cares about is money and property and status. She doesn’t care that her son’s wife had an affair out of any sympathy for her son, but because it reflects poorly on her status, and presumably because it might affect his ability to meet the exorbitant interest rates she’s charging him on repaying a loan. When the burglar Gus (Denis Leary) tells the mother that he knows loan sharks more forgiving than her, it’s not just funny, it’s also a pointed social critique—one that seems even more to the point these days. The mother is a monster who holds nothing more dear than herself and the property she has accumulated. She is greed personified, with a smattering of pride thrown in.
And Rose Chasseur is in good company in the town of Old Baybrook, Connecticut which is populated by the biggest collection of assholes this side of Plano. You really have to feel for Lt. Huff (Raymond J. Barry) because if this town was being attacked by a great white shark in the summer he’d probably be tempted to cover the city council in chum and let the shark finish the job. As it stands, Lt. Huff is possibly the only person ever to be grateful for getting fired on Christmas Eve.
Meanwhile, the only real difference between Kevin Spacey’s role as Lloyd Chasseur and Lester Burnham from American Beauty is that fate rescues Lloyd from Lester’s miserable tragedy—and also Caroline (Judy Davis) is a more interesting wife than Annette Bening’s Carolyn Burham. Hmmm, Lloyd and Caroline, Lester and Carolyn? The parallels there are hard to escape so I’ll just let you ruminate on them on your own. Lloyd and Caroline are caught in the wreckage of their dreams and ambitions and now sleepwalking through their seemingly picturesque lives that are actually rotted at the core. (Watch the film dubbed in French for the full effect of that last sentence.)
The result of the burglar’s intervention into the Chasseur family’s discontented life is that it forces them to confront their discontents and by openly communicating them and dragging the worst of it out finding that their unhappiness was not nearly as grave or unresolvable as their inability to speak about it was making it. Which is not to say that a gun to the head is the best method of marriage counseling, but that in this case it certainly did the trick. Hell, it even forced Lloyd’s brother Gary (Adam LeFevre) to man up to his wife and to his mother (which helps reconcile him back to his wife). I should mention that Gary’s wife Connie is played by Christine Baranski, so it’s easy to understand why he should have been so overpowered in that relationship. At any rate, the real triumph of the Chasseur family is their willingness to thwart their community and the law by abetting the escape of a catpiss-drenched jewel thief who has presumably learned a couple of lessons about life, too. Or not. But at any rate, the Chasseur family has been saved in the strangest of ways—and what’s more Christmas-y than that?
I know the temptation is to dismiss this film (or any film) as entertainment, but the thing about film and literature and everything we might even vaguely think about is that it all has an impact on how we view the world. How we react to a film and what we take away from it shapes who we are--not always a lot, but always a little, even if it just reinforces who we are by not getting any reaction from us.
Now, I’m not saying that The Ref will make you a better person and I’m hoping it doesn’t turn anyone into a blackmailer or a catburglar, but it’s a funny movie with some poignant moments that won’t make you gag from too much earnestness. (I know there are people out there who can only deal with earnestness, but sometimes it’s nice to have something different, eh?)
And if all the high-minded talk doesn’t convince you that you should watch The Ref next Christmas, then maybe you’ll do it to support Huguenot awareness.
Or for J.K. Simmons as Siskel, the commandant of the military school where the Chasseur’s delinquent son has been stashed. It’s great to see Simmons anywhere and you just wish there was more of him here.
And the great B.D. Wong as Dr. Wong, the Chasseur’s real marriage counselor at the opening of the film.
And Robert Ridgely as the town bigshot Bob Burley who gets to stand there with a hint of an eye twitch and take the best set of lines in the whole movie.
Lt. Huff: I nailed your wife…Three times, Bob. She said you never went three times, Bob.
And jewel thief should have a lovable old drunk like Murray as a sidekick. And the progressively drunker Santa Claus is a staple.
Heck, even the kids are good performers in this film.
At any rate, The Ref is a film worth coming back to again, whether it’s during the holidays or in the middle of the summer. Just pour yourself some egg nog and prepare to laugh your ass off.
Special Features
I can report that the French Language Track delivers some real good laughs.
Directed by Ted Demme, Screenplay by Richard LaGravanese & Marie Weiss
The Ref represents Ted Demme's greatest work. It's a shame he died when he did, but we'll always have The Ref.
The first time I saw The Ref (way back in 1994) it was March, which was either really late or really early for a Christmas movie, but at the time I didn’t really think of it so much as a Christmas film as a heist comedy. At some point in the next few years, though, The Ref became a holiday tradition for me. It fell into the kind of familiar exercise in nostalgia that marks the most well-worn holiday staples, and it didn’t hurt that it began to remind me of the Christmas season in New England, which I found to be exceptionally idyllic in its scenery. And The Ref has the added benefit of being one of the few Christmas movies featuring a foul mouthed thief covered in piss. (Cat piss, to be specific.)
The great saving grace of The Ref is that it’s no less redemptive than any of the more earnest and serious holiday films and yet it manages to avoid the worst excesses of schmaltz. At its core, The Ref is about reconstructing broken family, but if you’d like to get theological about it, its also about restoring a sense of kindness and genuine faith to a culture that is much more concerned about status and wealth than the core values that are packaged in that palatable sampler we call “The Christmas Spirit.” Take the delightfully evil mother Rose Chasseur (Glynis Johns). She represents everything that has gone wrong with traditional conservative values. All she cares about is money and property and status. She doesn’t care that her son’s wife had an affair out of any sympathy for her son, but because it reflects poorly on her status, and presumably because it might affect his ability to meet the exorbitant interest rates she’s charging him on repaying a loan. When the burglar Gus (Denis Leary) tells the mother that he knows loan sharks more forgiving than her, it’s not just funny, it’s also a pointed social critique—one that seems even more to the point these days. The mother is a monster who holds nothing more dear than herself and the property she has accumulated. She is greed personified, with a smattering of pride thrown in.
And Rose Chasseur is in good company in the town of Old Baybrook, Connecticut which is populated by the biggest collection of assholes this side of Plano. You really have to feel for Lt. Huff (Raymond J. Barry) because if this town was being attacked by a great white shark in the summer he’d probably be tempted to cover the city council in chum and let the shark finish the job. As it stands, Lt. Huff is possibly the only person ever to be grateful for getting fired on Christmas Eve.
Meanwhile, the only real difference between Kevin Spacey’s role as Lloyd Chasseur and Lester Burnham from American Beauty is that fate rescues Lloyd from Lester’s miserable tragedy—and also Caroline (Judy Davis) is a more interesting wife than Annette Bening’s Carolyn Burham. Hmmm, Lloyd and Caroline, Lester and Carolyn? The parallels there are hard to escape so I’ll just let you ruminate on them on your own. Lloyd and Caroline are caught in the wreckage of their dreams and ambitions and now sleepwalking through their seemingly picturesque lives that are actually rotted at the core. (Watch the film dubbed in French for the full effect of that last sentence.)
The result of the burglar’s intervention into the Chasseur family’s discontented life is that it forces them to confront their discontents and by openly communicating them and dragging the worst of it out finding that their unhappiness was not nearly as grave or unresolvable as their inability to speak about it was making it. Which is not to say that a gun to the head is the best method of marriage counseling, but that in this case it certainly did the trick. Hell, it even forced Lloyd’s brother Gary (Adam LeFevre) to man up to his wife and to his mother (which helps reconcile him back to his wife). I should mention that Gary’s wife Connie is played by Christine Baranski, so it’s easy to understand why he should have been so overpowered in that relationship. At any rate, the real triumph of the Chasseur family is their willingness to thwart their community and the law by abetting the escape of a catpiss-drenched jewel thief who has presumably learned a couple of lessons about life, too. Or not. But at any rate, the Chasseur family has been saved in the strangest of ways—and what’s more Christmas-y than that?
I know the temptation is to dismiss this film (or any film) as entertainment, but the thing about film and literature and everything we might even vaguely think about is that it all has an impact on how we view the world. How we react to a film and what we take away from it shapes who we are--not always a lot, but always a little, even if it just reinforces who we are by not getting any reaction from us.
Now, I’m not saying that The Ref will make you a better person and I’m hoping it doesn’t turn anyone into a blackmailer or a catburglar, but it’s a funny movie with some poignant moments that won’t make you gag from too much earnestness. (I know there are people out there who can only deal with earnestness, but sometimes it’s nice to have something different, eh?)
And if all the high-minded talk doesn’t convince you that you should watch The Ref next Christmas, then maybe you’ll do it to support Huguenot awareness.
Or for J.K. Simmons as Siskel, the commandant of the military school where the Chasseur’s delinquent son has been stashed. It’s great to see Simmons anywhere and you just wish there was more of him here.
And the great B.D. Wong as Dr. Wong, the Chasseur’s real marriage counselor at the opening of the film.
And Robert Ridgely as the town bigshot Bob Burley who gets to stand there with a hint of an eye twitch and take the best set of lines in the whole movie.
Lt. Huff: I nailed your wife…Three times, Bob. She said you never went three times, Bob.
And jewel thief should have a lovable old drunk like Murray as a sidekick. And the progressively drunker Santa Claus is a staple.
Heck, even the kids are good performers in this film.
At any rate, The Ref is a film worth coming back to again, whether it’s during the holidays or in the middle of the summer. Just pour yourself some egg nog and prepare to laugh your ass off.
Special Features
I can report that the French Language Track delivers some real good laughs.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Why Can’t I Get Just One Deadly Kiss?
Kiss Me Deadly (1955)
Directed by Robert Aldrich, Screenplay by A.I. Bezzerides
Velda: She’s dead…but I’m not dead. Hey, remember me?
Now, THIS is what we call a film noir. Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer played by Ralph Meeker is one of the ultimate detectives. Mike Hammer is not a good guy, he’s a sleazy private dick who works on small fry divorce cases and makes enough money to have a fine set of wheels (or two) and an assistant named Velda (Maxine Cooper) who is incredible. Velda is the kind of dame that makes you wish you could be a private detective as long as she came with the job.
At any rate, Mike Hammer is a dirty sleaze who makes a good bit of dough selling pictures of people in compromising positions but he’s not a completely unsympathetic worthless waste of humanity because his best friend (other than Velda) is a cop, Pat Murphy (Wesley Addy) and Mike Hammer is loyal to his friends. (As you'll see later.) Also, he’ll stick his neck out for someone whose in trouble, which is how this caper gets underway in the first place when he gives a ride to Christina Bailey, a girl in trouble played by a very young Cloris Leachman. Turns out everyone’s on the trail of some object and everyone who gets in the way of it winds up dead.
The thing that redeems the anti-hero Hammer is his loyalty, both to his friends and to those luckless victims he barely knew but who he thinks are equally worthy of his time and thus his extreme efforts at getting the people responsible for destroying them. Mike Hammer, then, is a man who refuses to let people become expendable. He must give their lives some meaning by at least giving them the benefit of avenging them, and in so doing maybe he gives his own life direction and meaning that he wouldn’t otherwise have when all he’s doing is taking dirty pictures and driving around.
This film isn’t perfect, but it’s a genuine hard-boiled classic. Sure, the heart of the mystery ends up being a ridiculous chase for some radioactive material (not in the original book) but, then, these days that plot about chasing down baddies who are trying to get a box of radioactive material pretty much describes every action film and the entire run of 24. It’s not just a Cold War paranoia plot, it's part of our national psyche.
And the truth is that Kiss Me Deadly doesn’t live or die by that aspect of the story…it’s all about Mike Hammer and his friends, enemies and the people in between.
Meeker’s Hammer is a great performance, and Cooper’s Velda is a pretty strong character, too. The thing that makes the world of a film like this is the cast of supporting characters who give it flavor, and Kiss Me Deadly has a lot of flavor.
Mike’s mechanic Nick (who loves the fast cars “Va-Va-Voom!”) is played by the colorful Nick Dennis with a zest that makes you quickly see why Mike likes him.
And then there are the toughs…Charlie Max (Jack Elam) and Sugar Smallhouse (Jack Lambert).
That’s right, you get Jack Elam thrown into this movie as a bonus. Tell me that isn’t great. (Go ahead, try to tell me that so I can punch you in the face.) And Sugar Smallhouse is just one of the greatest character names this side of a Bond villain. Sugar Smallhouse. Just say it over and over again and tell me it doesn’t make you happy. (Go ahead and tell me, so I can punch you in the face.)
Sugar: Dames are worse than flies!
Speak for yourself, Mr. Smallhouse. (Go ahead, speak for yourself so I can punch you in the face.)
Granted, Kiss Me Deadly does make me wish I could punch more people in the face, but it also makes me wish I could be as cool as the detective who gets kissed by people before he knows their names.
Mike: Don’t be afraid, I won’t bite.
Friday: You don’t taste like anybody I know, but it’s alright, in fact it’s wonderful….Seconds?
Mike: Okay.
Now that’s what I call detective work. Friday (Marian Carr) is half-sister to Carl (Paul Stewart) the main villain. Friday is trouble, the kind of trouble that people go looking for and don’t regret looking for until it’s too late and even then…well, at least you got something for your troubles.
There’s even a girl named Cheesecake (Leigh Snowden) at Carl’s house. Carl knows how to do business, alright, sitting by the pool with his collection of dames and henchmen. (I’d like to punch him in the face, too.)
Also making an appearance in this film is Strother “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate” Martin.
I could go on about every other actor’s performance here and how interesting they are, but I think the point is made.
This incarnation of Mike Hammer isn't perfect (Mickey Spillane apparently didn't like the film-mostly because of the radiological material plot) but it's good--Mike Hammer isn't a saint, but that's what makes him more real, it's what gives his character depth, and it's what makes him such a desirable source of emulation. I mean, it's impossible to be Superman and really difficult to be a perfect hero, but to be a guy who can take a punch, give two back and then kiss a dame he never met before--well, that's still within the bounds of possibility at least.
So, Kiss Me Deadly should be on your must see list. And if you don’t put it there, I will punch you in the face.
Special Features
1. Theatrical Trailer
Girls fleeing in terror from things beyond description!
(That would be a great title for a 1950s Sci-Fi film.)
He was out to get men who tortured women…
(And the women who loved them…)
This woman’s lips, cold as steel, lethal as a gun…
(and yet soft as a tastycake…)
2. Alternate Ending
This is a badly butchered cropped ending that makes little sense. I’m not sure why anyone thought this ending would be good.
Directed by Robert Aldrich, Screenplay by A.I. Bezzerides
Velda: She’s dead…but I’m not dead. Hey, remember me?
Now, THIS is what we call a film noir. Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer played by Ralph Meeker is one of the ultimate detectives. Mike Hammer is not a good guy, he’s a sleazy private dick who works on small fry divorce cases and makes enough money to have a fine set of wheels (or two) and an assistant named Velda (Maxine Cooper) who is incredible. Velda is the kind of dame that makes you wish you could be a private detective as long as she came with the job.
At any rate, Mike Hammer is a dirty sleaze who makes a good bit of dough selling pictures of people in compromising positions but he’s not a completely unsympathetic worthless waste of humanity because his best friend (other than Velda) is a cop, Pat Murphy (Wesley Addy) and Mike Hammer is loyal to his friends. (As you'll see later.) Also, he’ll stick his neck out for someone whose in trouble, which is how this caper gets underway in the first place when he gives a ride to Christina Bailey, a girl in trouble played by a very young Cloris Leachman. Turns out everyone’s on the trail of some object and everyone who gets in the way of it winds up dead.
The thing that redeems the anti-hero Hammer is his loyalty, both to his friends and to those luckless victims he barely knew but who he thinks are equally worthy of his time and thus his extreme efforts at getting the people responsible for destroying them. Mike Hammer, then, is a man who refuses to let people become expendable. He must give their lives some meaning by at least giving them the benefit of avenging them, and in so doing maybe he gives his own life direction and meaning that he wouldn’t otherwise have when all he’s doing is taking dirty pictures and driving around.
This film isn’t perfect, but it’s a genuine hard-boiled classic. Sure, the heart of the mystery ends up being a ridiculous chase for some radioactive material (not in the original book) but, then, these days that plot about chasing down baddies who are trying to get a box of radioactive material pretty much describes every action film and the entire run of 24. It’s not just a Cold War paranoia plot, it's part of our national psyche.
And the truth is that Kiss Me Deadly doesn’t live or die by that aspect of the story…it’s all about Mike Hammer and his friends, enemies and the people in between.
Meeker’s Hammer is a great performance, and Cooper’s Velda is a pretty strong character, too. The thing that makes the world of a film like this is the cast of supporting characters who give it flavor, and Kiss Me Deadly has a lot of flavor.
Mike’s mechanic Nick (who loves the fast cars “Va-Va-Voom!”) is played by the colorful Nick Dennis with a zest that makes you quickly see why Mike likes him.
And then there are the toughs…Charlie Max (Jack Elam) and Sugar Smallhouse (Jack Lambert).
That’s right, you get Jack Elam thrown into this movie as a bonus. Tell me that isn’t great. (Go ahead, try to tell me that so I can punch you in the face.) And Sugar Smallhouse is just one of the greatest character names this side of a Bond villain. Sugar Smallhouse. Just say it over and over again and tell me it doesn’t make you happy. (Go ahead and tell me, so I can punch you in the face.)
Sugar: Dames are worse than flies!
Speak for yourself, Mr. Smallhouse. (Go ahead, speak for yourself so I can punch you in the face.)
Granted, Kiss Me Deadly does make me wish I could punch more people in the face, but it also makes me wish I could be as cool as the detective who gets kissed by people before he knows their names.
Mike: Don’t be afraid, I won’t bite.
Friday: You don’t taste like anybody I know, but it’s alright, in fact it’s wonderful….Seconds?
Mike: Okay.
Now that’s what I call detective work. Friday (Marian Carr) is half-sister to Carl (Paul Stewart) the main villain. Friday is trouble, the kind of trouble that people go looking for and don’t regret looking for until it’s too late and even then…well, at least you got something for your troubles.
There’s even a girl named Cheesecake (Leigh Snowden) at Carl’s house. Carl knows how to do business, alright, sitting by the pool with his collection of dames and henchmen. (I’d like to punch him in the face, too.)
Also making an appearance in this film is Strother “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate” Martin.
I could go on about every other actor’s performance here and how interesting they are, but I think the point is made.
This incarnation of Mike Hammer isn't perfect (Mickey Spillane apparently didn't like the film-mostly because of the radiological material plot) but it's good--Mike Hammer isn't a saint, but that's what makes him more real, it's what gives his character depth, and it's what makes him such a desirable source of emulation. I mean, it's impossible to be Superman and really difficult to be a perfect hero, but to be a guy who can take a punch, give two back and then kiss a dame he never met before--well, that's still within the bounds of possibility at least.
So, Kiss Me Deadly should be on your must see list. And if you don’t put it there, I will punch you in the face.
Special Features
1. Theatrical Trailer
Girls fleeing in terror from things beyond description!
(That would be a great title for a 1950s Sci-Fi film.)
He was out to get men who tortured women…
(And the women who loved them…)
This woman’s lips, cold as steel, lethal as a gun…
(and yet soft as a tastycake…)
2. Alternate Ending
This is a badly butchered cropped ending that makes little sense. I’m not sure why anyone thought this ending would be good.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Black Widow vs. The Brown Recluse
Black Widow (1954)
Written & Directed by Nunnally Johnson
If you think of a black widow as an actual widow, then the only black widow in this film is the spider in the opening sequence. On the other hand, if you think of a black widow as a creature that destroys its mate then maybe the metaphor works. But maybe the best description for the character of Nancy Ordway (Peggy Ann Garner) is that she’s like a stinkbug—her life and her death leave a smelly mess for everyone in her vicinity. But then, you title a movie Stink Bug and you’ll get a very different audience or no audience at all.
So, this film is a mystery where theatre producer Peter Denver (Van Heflin) is trying to clear his name in the murder of the aforementioned Nan Ordway, a small town girl who came to New York to try to make it as a writer. Poor, innocent Peter thinks nothing of letting Nancy use his apartment during the day while he’s at work. After all, he’s happily married to Iris Denver (Gene Tierney) who happens to be away visiting her mother. When Iris comes home there’s a dead young woman hanging in her bedroom. Peter, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do! And, as if dead girl in the bedroom wasn’t bad enough, it turns out she was…pregnant! Now Peter’s goose is really cooked. Of course, he should have known better, but Peter didn’t see trouble coming, and he couldn’t have guessed that Nancy Ordway would be that trouble. But Nancy clearly had a lot more going on than she admitted and if Peter had seen her coming he would have been in an entirely different position and in a different kind of trouble.
SPOILER ALERT: This movie has been around for over 50 years so if revealing the ending is a spoiler then you can just suck it up. There are more reasons to watch films than just plot and surprise. And if you really want to be surprised by every movie you see then get yourself a mallet and hit yourself on the head really hard—then every movie you’ve ever seen will still be new to you.
Turns out Peter really was innocent and that it was no coincidence that Nancy Ordway wanted to stay in his apartment. She was having an affair with Peter’s friend and neighbor Brian Mullen (Reginald Gardiner) who is married to the star of Peter’s current show, Lottie Marin (Ginger Rogers). Oh, these theatre folk—you know how slutty they can be, but they do get very jealous. Very jealous. Roaring tigress jealous.
And yes, it’s THAT Ginger Rogers. This is one of her finest performances. She plays a real tenacious dame here. If all you think of when you hear the name Ginger Rogers is of dancing with Fred Astaire, then you really need to see her in Black Widow.
And Van Heflin is no slouch, either. For that matter, neither is Gene Tierney. They make a good combo as the wronged wife and the wrongfully accused husband. If Van Heflin and Gene Tierney aren't enough to make you want to watch a movie, then you need to be tied to a chair and forced to watch TCM for a couple of weeks.
And if those folks aren't enough for you erstwhile fans of film, then let me introduce you to Mr. George Raft. And this time he plays a good guy. That’s right, the original film gangster plays a police detective in Black Widow. He’s a bit stiff, but no more so than any other ‘50s cop. If you don’t believe me, watch Dragnet.
And the rest of the supporting players are no less colorful. John Amberly, Nancy’s young suitor is played by Skip Homeier and his sister Claire (a hipster ‘50s artist) is played by the awesome Virginia Leith, who would later star in The Brain that Wouldn’t Die. (Leith should have gone on to become a big star, but that’s another story.) Hilda Simms puts in a good performance here as well, and you get bonus points if you can spot a young Aaron Spelling in the cast.
So, good performances, a decent story (at times a bit slow), and some old-timey Hollywood star-spotting aside, what other reason do you have to see Black Widow?
Color. I know this is called a film noir, but in rich glorious color. The scenic backdrops, the set design, the costumes—everything is vibrant. Speaking of which, check out the bustling exterior shots of New York City in the 1950s. This film is a page of history and so, even if it’s just to be transported back to a particular moment in time, it’s worth seeing.
Black Widow is a pretty good mystery and well worth the price of admission. There are more noir-y noirs in the Fox Film Noir collection, but that doesn’t mean you should skip this one.
Special Features
1. Commentary with Film Noir Historian Alan K. Rode
I always find the solo commentaries with film historians to be a bit like listening to a lecture--usually a bit drab. Rode is informative, if not exactly colorful. For the serious cinematic historian only. All others should find a cinematic historian friend with excellent raconteuristic abilities to digest this commentary and repeat some of its anecdotes with some more zest.
2. Ginger Rogers at Twentieth Century Fox
Robert Osborne, Charles Busch and others talk about Ginger Rogers’ post-Fred career at Fox.
Great scenes from Roxie Hart and Monkey Business. Nunnally Johnson originally wanted Tallulah Bankhead but for his trouble got a 25 minute collect call from Bankhead so he decided to go with Ginger Rogers, who turned it down but changed her mind after getting a telegram from Daryl Zanuck.
This is a nice short salute to Ginger Rogers.
3. Gene Tierney: Final Curtain for a Noir Icon
A short, sad story about a falling star. Gene Tierney was institutionalized and treated with electro-shock a year after Black Widow, (not because of the movie). But while her troubles are highlighted here, so is her remarkable career.
4. Interactive Pressbook
A collection of promotional materials that is of some interest to film historians, especially to see the kind of tidbits thrown out there to help hype up a film as well as the instructions for advertisers and suggestions for merchandising tie-ins.
5. Theatrical Trailer
Compares Peggy Ann Garner to a black widow spider killing its mate while the camera lingers on her.
The trailer shows off the star-studded cast and revels in the widescreen full color beauty of the film while showing off what it can of the drama.
6. Isolated Score Track
For people who like to watch movies and listen to music but don't want to be pestered with listening to people talk. You can do your own karaoke version of Black Widow this way.
7. Still Galleries
Now, this is what I call a bounty of special features. 5 collections of photos and art.
1. Production Stills
Some great color shots and a few B&W stills as well.
2. Behind The Scenes
If you were ever curious about what a studio film set looked like in 1954, this set of pictures gives you a great sampling.
3. Glamour Shots
I especially enjoyed the shots of actors in front of or behind spiders’ webs in this series.
4. Poster Art
The poster art for this film is classic. Someone Will Kill This Girl Tonight!!! The 3rd exclamation point lets you know that they mean business, though some of the other posters use only 2 or just 1 exclamation point. The main image for the poster is beautiful, but of course has little resemblance to the story or the characters.
All The Suspense Your System Can Take
5. Costume & Lighting Tests
These look almost like mugshots.
8. Fox Noir
Trailers for a few more films from Fox's Film Noir Collection.
Daisy Kenyon – Joan Crawford & Henry Fonda in a love triangle.
Dangerous Crossing – It's not a normal crossing, it’s a DANGEROUS crossing! Jeanne Crain, Michael Rennie and a cruise ship!
I Wake Up Screaming – Victor Mature and some other people.
Why should I go on slinging hash when I can sling other things?
This trailer could almost be mistaken for a silent film.
Vicki – This is the restless desperate world of Vicki…featuring Jeanne Crain, Jean Peters.
Written & Directed by Nunnally Johnson
If you think of a black widow as an actual widow, then the only black widow in this film is the spider in the opening sequence. On the other hand, if you think of a black widow as a creature that destroys its mate then maybe the metaphor works. But maybe the best description for the character of Nancy Ordway (Peggy Ann Garner) is that she’s like a stinkbug—her life and her death leave a smelly mess for everyone in her vicinity. But then, you title a movie Stink Bug and you’ll get a very different audience or no audience at all.
So, this film is a mystery where theatre producer Peter Denver (Van Heflin) is trying to clear his name in the murder of the aforementioned Nan Ordway, a small town girl who came to New York to try to make it as a writer. Poor, innocent Peter thinks nothing of letting Nancy use his apartment during the day while he’s at work. After all, he’s happily married to Iris Denver (Gene Tierney) who happens to be away visiting her mother. When Iris comes home there’s a dead young woman hanging in her bedroom. Peter, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do! And, as if dead girl in the bedroom wasn’t bad enough, it turns out she was…pregnant! Now Peter’s goose is really cooked. Of course, he should have known better, but Peter didn’t see trouble coming, and he couldn’t have guessed that Nancy Ordway would be that trouble. But Nancy clearly had a lot more going on than she admitted and if Peter had seen her coming he would have been in an entirely different position and in a different kind of trouble.
SPOILER ALERT: This movie has been around for over 50 years so if revealing the ending is a spoiler then you can just suck it up. There are more reasons to watch films than just plot and surprise. And if you really want to be surprised by every movie you see then get yourself a mallet and hit yourself on the head really hard—then every movie you’ve ever seen will still be new to you.
Turns out Peter really was innocent and that it was no coincidence that Nancy Ordway wanted to stay in his apartment. She was having an affair with Peter’s friend and neighbor Brian Mullen (Reginald Gardiner) who is married to the star of Peter’s current show, Lottie Marin (Ginger Rogers). Oh, these theatre folk—you know how slutty they can be, but they do get very jealous. Very jealous. Roaring tigress jealous.
And yes, it’s THAT Ginger Rogers. This is one of her finest performances. She plays a real tenacious dame here. If all you think of when you hear the name Ginger Rogers is of dancing with Fred Astaire, then you really need to see her in Black Widow.
And Van Heflin is no slouch, either. For that matter, neither is Gene Tierney. They make a good combo as the wronged wife and the wrongfully accused husband. If Van Heflin and Gene Tierney aren't enough to make you want to watch a movie, then you need to be tied to a chair and forced to watch TCM for a couple of weeks.
And if those folks aren't enough for you erstwhile fans of film, then let me introduce you to Mr. George Raft. And this time he plays a good guy. That’s right, the original film gangster plays a police detective in Black Widow. He’s a bit stiff, but no more so than any other ‘50s cop. If you don’t believe me, watch Dragnet.
And the rest of the supporting players are no less colorful. John Amberly, Nancy’s young suitor is played by Skip Homeier and his sister Claire (a hipster ‘50s artist) is played by the awesome Virginia Leith, who would later star in The Brain that Wouldn’t Die. (Leith should have gone on to become a big star, but that’s another story.) Hilda Simms puts in a good performance here as well, and you get bonus points if you can spot a young Aaron Spelling in the cast.
So, good performances, a decent story (at times a bit slow), and some old-timey Hollywood star-spotting aside, what other reason do you have to see Black Widow?
Color. I know this is called a film noir, but in rich glorious color. The scenic backdrops, the set design, the costumes—everything is vibrant. Speaking of which, check out the bustling exterior shots of New York City in the 1950s. This film is a page of history and so, even if it’s just to be transported back to a particular moment in time, it’s worth seeing.
Black Widow is a pretty good mystery and well worth the price of admission. There are more noir-y noirs in the Fox Film Noir collection, but that doesn’t mean you should skip this one.
Special Features
1. Commentary with Film Noir Historian Alan K. Rode
I always find the solo commentaries with film historians to be a bit like listening to a lecture--usually a bit drab. Rode is informative, if not exactly colorful. For the serious cinematic historian only. All others should find a cinematic historian friend with excellent raconteuristic abilities to digest this commentary and repeat some of its anecdotes with some more zest.
2. Ginger Rogers at Twentieth Century Fox
Robert Osborne, Charles Busch and others talk about Ginger Rogers’ post-Fred career at Fox.
Great scenes from Roxie Hart and Monkey Business. Nunnally Johnson originally wanted Tallulah Bankhead but for his trouble got a 25 minute collect call from Bankhead so he decided to go with Ginger Rogers, who turned it down but changed her mind after getting a telegram from Daryl Zanuck.
This is a nice short salute to Ginger Rogers.
3. Gene Tierney: Final Curtain for a Noir Icon
A short, sad story about a falling star. Gene Tierney was institutionalized and treated with electro-shock a year after Black Widow, (not because of the movie). But while her troubles are highlighted here, so is her remarkable career.
4. Interactive Pressbook
A collection of promotional materials that is of some interest to film historians, especially to see the kind of tidbits thrown out there to help hype up a film as well as the instructions for advertisers and suggestions for merchandising tie-ins.
5. Theatrical Trailer
Compares Peggy Ann Garner to a black widow spider killing its mate while the camera lingers on her.
The trailer shows off the star-studded cast and revels in the widescreen full color beauty of the film while showing off what it can of the drama.
6. Isolated Score Track
For people who like to watch movies and listen to music but don't want to be pestered with listening to people talk. You can do your own karaoke version of Black Widow this way.
7. Still Galleries
Now, this is what I call a bounty of special features. 5 collections of photos and art.
1. Production Stills
Some great color shots and a few B&W stills as well.
2. Behind The Scenes
If you were ever curious about what a studio film set looked like in 1954, this set of pictures gives you a great sampling.
3. Glamour Shots
I especially enjoyed the shots of actors in front of or behind spiders’ webs in this series.
4. Poster Art
The poster art for this film is classic. Someone Will Kill This Girl Tonight!!! The 3rd exclamation point lets you know that they mean business, though some of the other posters use only 2 or just 1 exclamation point. The main image for the poster is beautiful, but of course has little resemblance to the story or the characters.
All The Suspense Your System Can Take
5. Costume & Lighting Tests
These look almost like mugshots.
8. Fox Noir
Trailers for a few more films from Fox's Film Noir Collection.
Daisy Kenyon – Joan Crawford & Henry Fonda in a love triangle.
Dangerous Crossing – It's not a normal crossing, it’s a DANGEROUS crossing! Jeanne Crain, Michael Rennie and a cruise ship!
I Wake Up Screaming – Victor Mature and some other people.
Why should I go on slinging hash when I can sling other things?
This trailer could almost be mistaken for a silent film.
Vicki – This is the restless desperate world of Vicki…featuring Jeanne Crain, Jean Peters.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
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