No Exit?

The Strangers (Unrated) (2008)
Directed by Bryan Bertino
Screenplay by Bryan Bertino

In this film very loosely based on The Stranger by Albert Camus a pair of attractive people are terrorized and then mostly murdered by some strangers.   If the unknown and the inexplicable are the source of much of our fear then the unaccounted for is just annoying.   The crucial moment in understanding the philosophy of this film comes near the very end when the victims ask why they are being terrorized and the killers respond with "Because you were home."  That's cold.   And if the film wasn't riddled with unnecessary cheap scares and a bloated notion of suspense then maybe it would have earned that line a little better, though I'm not sure what it means to "earn" nihilism.

The Strangers started out with some promise as a film about a relationship that has gone sour.
I think this may be the resurrection of an old trope in horror films where the terror of the outside reflects what was initially an inner turmoil in key relationships of the terrorized.   (The Shining, anyone?).
In The Strangers we start with James and Kristen driving home from a wedding reception to his family's remote vacation home where he thought he'd be celebrating his own engagement with Kristen.
But she rejected him.  Maybe the sound was too low maybe it doesn't matter but I still don't understand why she shot down his proposal.   Maybe it's because she had seen Underworld.   I would have said that this film has the most awkward driver/passenger pair in recent film history, but then the road trip couple in Vacancy really gave this one a run for its money in the uncomfortability category.

Having been shot down by Liv Tyler (an experience which suddenly gives him an everyman quality) James sinks his despair in a tub of ice cream.   But before we can sympathize with him for too long he and Kristen start to have some slightly awkward sad sex.   But then comes the murderous interreptus when there's a creepy knock at the door that prevents them from continuing.    From this point on the couple are at the mercy of the mask wearing slow-kill trio of murderers.

The first stupid thing that happens here is that James leaves the house to go for a drive.   Notwithstanding the little bit of ice cream that he had he's already been drinking and just killed a bottle of champagne.  I know the relationship has become awkward what with the whole rejection of marriage thing but still, there's no excuse for letting James go for a drive when he's been drinking....especially when he's upset.   I understand his impetus for wanting to get out of the room, but taking a drive to the corner store for some smokes is really a bad idea given the time of night.

The next stupid thing that happens is that the killers seem to have unfettered access to some sort of permeable (and very quiet) wall that lets them get into and out of the house at will without making any noise unless they want to make it.   The rest of the film consists of a series of cheap scares designed to frighten James and Kristen (and the audience) without actually going in for the kill.   The killers are so unconcerned that they play on a swingset and loll around the grounds.

The victims, meanwhile are completely incompetent.  Now, we have to believe that this house is isolated because it's a vacation community in the off-season.  That explains the reason no other house can be appealed to for safety.   But surely the victims could have tried to break into one of the other houses.  (They do have plenty of time.)  Maybe one of the other houses has an alarm, or a working telephone, or a shovel to crack over the heads of one of the three most complacent killers you could ever hope to find.   There's no excuse for the level of imcompetence that James and Kristen show in the face of a ludicrously inefficient home invasion.  The "strangers" don't just bust down the door and tie up their victims.  In fact, the victims have frequent opportunities to run outside.  The inefficiency of the killers is highlighted by the fact that they don't even get to the actual stabbing part until well after sunup.  And, in one of the most ridiculous endings of all time it appears as though Kristen survives at the end despite the loss of most of her blood, which means that for all of their work in terrorizing the "strangers" only manage to kill one person and cause the death of another.   (That would be the poor schmuck played by Glenn Howerton who takes a shotgun blast in the face from James when he is mistaken for one of the killers.)   The only reason for opening Liv Tyler's eyes at the very end is for a cheap scare.  You assume she's dead so when the little kid goes over to her you don't expect her to open her terrified eyes.   The reason you assume she's dead is because they stab her in much the same way they stab and kill Scott Speedman's character and he is definitely dead.

This last moment is in keeping with the ethos of the rest of the film where Bertino seems more than willing to sacrifice storytelling or a sense of consistent universe in favor of individual scares and set-pieces.  I don't give a two-tone fig about realism, but having killers who enter and exit the house for no reason other than to set up a scary moment is beyond senseless.  And if I could bring myself to believe that the idea was to present something bizarre or absurd then maybe I'd go along for the ride.   But instead I have the feeling that it's the cheap scare driving the car here and it takes away from the story.
I know I'm supposed to be horrified by the senseless and cruel violence of the "strangers" but instead I'm just annoyed by their terrible inefficiency as killers.  It's one thing for the killer whale to toss the seal up into the air a couple of times.  It's another for it to swallow the seal and then spit it back out and bite it again.   That's what seems to be happening in this film.  I'd have thought by now that gruesome murderous psychopathic Americans would have achieved a higher level of ability by now, but The Strangers shows that even the most creative fictional murderers seem to turn out to be rank amateurs when it comes down to it.   I'll put it this way:  if you put the "strangers" up against the murderers from any of a number of other horror films these "killers" would be dead before the opening credits roll by.

I'm not saying that The Strangers is an unwatchable Uwe Boll film.  But I'm a little miffed at the way the set-piece of the house is set up.   It would have been a lot more interesting to find out that the killers had the ability to walk through walls--and it would have explained a lot.  Instead it's just plain dumb.  The Strangers take an entire night to terrorize a couple of people.  I'm not creeped out by this film so much as annoyed by it.   I'll say it again:  the killers in this film took an hour and a half to stab two people when they had almost supernatural ability to come and go from the house for the entire time of their terror jaunt.   I suppose you could say that it's terrifying to be toyed with like that, but for an audience it's excruciatingly dull when you think about it.   And as for the "based on true events" pile of hooey--well, just stop it.  Seriously.  I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE (POINTS TO AN IMAGINARY LINE SOMEWHERE ON HIS UPPER TORSO)  WITH THE FAKE "BASED ON A TRUE STORY" TITLE CARDS.   PLEASE STOP PRETENDING THAT THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.  

The Strangers is well made and glossy and full of cheap scares with unmotivated terror that is not so much unremitting as uninspired.   In short, this film is like a ten dollar grilled cheese sandwich.  It's a pretty sandwich but it's a bit expensive for what it is.  

Horrificus Personae
James Hoyt, a guy....Scott Speedman (Underworld, Felicity)  You should have stayed with Felicity, then you woudn't have been stabbed by this gang of shock-teases.  
Kristen McKay, his girlfriend....Liv Tyler (Lord of the Rings, Empire Records, Stealing Beauty, The Incredible Hulk, Robot and Frank) If you're a fan of Liv Tyler then this film will satisfy you with some quality screen time.  
Mike, James's brother/friend?....Glenn Howerton (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Serenity, Crank, Crank: High Voltage, Unsupervised, The Cleveland Show, Glenn Martin DDS, ER, That '80s Show)  Man, you're only in this movie long enough to take a shotgun blast to the face.   Such a shame.
Man in the Mask, the leader of this murder outfit?....Kip Weeks (Glory Road, American Primitive, A Girl, a Guy, and a Space Helmet)
Dollface.....Gemma Ward (The Black Balloon, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, The Great Gatsby)
Pin-Up Girl....Laura Margolis (Dirty Sexy Money, Monk, Masters of Horror, Friends, The Drew Carey Show, The Ballad of Danko Jones)
Mormon Boy #1....Alex Fisher
Mormon Boy #2....Peter Clayton-Luce (Neither of these characters are particularly Mormon.  They're too young to be on a mission and the pamphlets they're carrying are of inderminate Christian material.  It's a small matter, but why call them Mormons?)

Director of Photography....Peter Sova (Tin Men, Good Morning, Vietnam, Donnie Brasco, The Proposition, Wicker Park, Lucky Number Slevin, Push)

Previews
1. The Incredible Hulk
Oh look, it's another film with Liv Tyler.  
2. The Scorpion King 2
What makes me sad is that I know I'll break down and see this film at some point.
3. Hellboy II
And somehow I've still managed to avoid seeing this film.  
4. The Incredible Hulk TV Series
The Strangers would have been a lot better if Bixby's Hulk had shown up to give the killers a thrashing.

Bonus Features
1. Deleted Scenes
James Reflects At The Bar
I'm not sure what the point of this scene was.   It doesn't add much to the character and it certainly isn't all that interesting.   And I'm sure one reason that it is deleted is that it might point to the possibility that James shouldn't be driving at any point in this film.
Bathroom Discussion
This one seems more to the point of explaining the James and Kristen's relationship though in some ways it explores their relationship without making things clear.  
2. The Elements of Terror
A typical promo piece.   There are some interesting aspects of the set and the filming that might be worth a look but it's not much of a learning experience compared to listening to an Eli Roth commentary or getting a behind the scenes look at something truly fascinating.