Hollywood After Dark (1968)
The Film Crew was a brief project by some of the minds behind Mystery Science Theatre 3000 who would afterward go on to produce RiffTrax. For the two people in the world who don't know what these folks do, here's the gist of it: it's some people who tack on a humorous commentary to mostly awful movies. The premise of The Film Crew is that these mooks in a workshop are sent films by their big boss Bob Honcho and they have to provide a commentary track for these poor films that don't have them.
In the middle of the film the guys take a lunch break and we are treated to their antics.
Word on the interweb street is that Bob Honcho was originally named Bob Rhino but when the owners of Mystery Science Theatre threatened to pull releases of future MST3K material from Rhino Entertainment, Rhino pulled out from The Film Crew and thus the lines where the guys mention Bob Rhino's name were re-looped with the word "Honcho." If you look carefully you can see this. The result provides meta-meta-fun for those of us who are tempted to do a commentary on this commentary because there's nothing more hilarious than seeing guys who make fun of films with horrible re-dubbing have to do the same thing themselves.
This film being riffed upon here is Hollywood After Dark, a black and white "film" that features a young Rue McClanahan as a stripper.
Have you stopped screaming yet?
I'll admit that I've known about this film for several years ever since I was horrified to see a copy put out by Something Weird Video (of course) that was at the local Borders. That version was part of a Rue McClanahan double feature with something called The Rotten Apple, where Rue plays some sort of shanty-dwelling prostitute.
I was a little disappointed by the paucity of Golden Girls jokes. I can only imagine that there must have been some legal reason for this, because a good Bea Arthur joke is worth a thousand random quacking noises.
Given the lameness of the commentary here and the cheap lameness of the framing scenes I can only assume that there was some sort of restraining order that prevented "The Film Crew" from saying or doing anything that might be really funny.
I'm pretty sure I could have gathered two of my friends and done a more entertaining job of making fun of this horrible movie. Maybe the robot characters were just more interesting than three mooks watching a movie.
Of course, I understand that when a film is jaw-droppingly bad it's sometimes hard to find anything funny to say that will be any funnier other than to point out how stupid the film is.
In this case, there are multiple dance sequences that seem to go on forever. Let me correct that last statement. They don't "seem" to go on forever, so much as they actually go on forever.
I can appreciate that after 15 minutes of watching Xexa the Jungle Queen (or whatever her name is) dance with her feather pasties there's not much you can say in minute 12 that wasn't covered somewhere around minute 2. And whereas some exploitation movies only put you through one awkward dance sequence this film gives you four. There's one with a blonde that is mercifully brief, there's the really long one, there's the one with Rue McClanahan wearing some sort of upholstery and there's another one with a woman in pasties and a long fringe skirt that wouldn't be half bad if the sequence didn't last another eternity. By the way, it's dance sequences like this that will kill your enjoyment of jazz music.
Now, maybe my level of expectation was high (or maybe I needed to be high) but the best I could muster for The Film Crew's humor here was a slight sense of amusement. You'd think you'd get more out of three funny guys making fun of the world's worst heist movie (oh, yeah, it's a scuba diving heist movie) but all we really get is mild amusement.
This film being riffed upon here is Hollywood After Dark, a black and white "film" that features a young Rue McClanahan as a stripper.
Have you stopped screaming yet?
I'll admit that I've known about this film for several years ever since I was horrified to see a copy put out by Something Weird Video (of course) that was at the local Borders. That version was part of a Rue McClanahan double feature with something called The Rotten Apple, where Rue plays some sort of shanty-dwelling prostitute.
I was a little disappointed by the paucity of Golden Girls jokes. I can only imagine that there must have been some legal reason for this, because a good Bea Arthur joke is worth a thousand random quacking noises.
Given the lameness of the commentary here and the cheap lameness of the framing scenes I can only assume that there was some sort of restraining order that prevented "The Film Crew" from saying or doing anything that might be really funny.
I'm pretty sure I could have gathered two of my friends and done a more entertaining job of making fun of this horrible movie. Maybe the robot characters were just more interesting than three mooks watching a movie.
Of course, I understand that when a film is jaw-droppingly bad it's sometimes hard to find anything funny to say that will be any funnier other than to point out how stupid the film is.
In this case, there are multiple dance sequences that seem to go on forever. Let me correct that last statement. They don't "seem" to go on forever, so much as they actually go on forever.
I can appreciate that after 15 minutes of watching Xexa the Jungle Queen (or whatever her name is) dance with her feather pasties there's not much you can say in minute 12 that wasn't covered somewhere around minute 2. And whereas some exploitation movies only put you through one awkward dance sequence this film gives you four. There's one with a blonde that is mercifully brief, there's the really long one, there's the one with Rue McClanahan wearing some sort of upholstery and there's another one with a woman in pasties and a long fringe skirt that wouldn't be half bad if the sequence didn't last another eternity. By the way, it's dance sequences like this that will kill your enjoyment of jazz music.
Now, maybe my level of expectation was high (or maybe I needed to be high) but the best I could muster for The Film Crew's humor here was a slight sense of amusement. You'd think you'd get more out of three funny guys making fun of the world's worst heist movie (oh, yeah, it's a scuba diving heist movie) but all we really get is mild amusement.
I'm fairly sure there is nothing to be gained from attempting to watch this film in its original version, but there's not that much more to be gained from watching it with the help of The Film Crew, who in this outing are just not that funny.
So, unless you're an MST3K and associates completist, or you just want to see Rue McClanahan's sweaty naked back (go ahead, scream for a second. get it out of your system) you can safely skip this film without a sense of loss.
So, unless you're an MST3K and associates completist, or you just want to see Rue McClanahan's sweaty naked back (go ahead, scream for a second. get it out of your system) you can safely skip this film without a sense of loss.
Mike Nelson
Bill Corbett
Kevin Murphy
Bob Honcho.....Mike Dodge
Bob Honcho's Secretary....Beth McKeever
Special Features
This DVD came with a movie ticket Film Crew patch which will look great on my letter jacket.
Shout Factory Trailers
The Film Crew
Here's an ad for The Film Crew, which helpfully lets you know something about what you're about to watch.
Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story
I may be sick of mockumentaries, but the cast of this makes it seem like I might have to give it a look.
Zach Galifianakis Live at the Purple Onion
Genius. Sheer genius.
Ode to Lunch
I think this might have been funnier if it had been 30 minutes long. And by "funnier" I mean I would have appreciated the commitment to punishing an audience by taking a joke that far. I think making this poem such a short ode makes it less funny.
Special Features
This DVD came with a movie ticket Film Crew patch which will look great on my letter jacket.
Shout Factory Trailers
The Film Crew
Here's an ad for The Film Crew, which helpfully lets you know something about what you're about to watch.
Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story
I may be sick of mockumentaries, but the cast of this makes it seem like I might have to give it a look.
Zach Galifianakis Live at the Purple Onion
Genius. Sheer genius.
Ode to Lunch
I think this might have been funnier if it had been 30 minutes long. And by "funnier" I mean I would have appreciated the commitment to punishing an audience by taking a joke that far. I think making this poem such a short ode makes it less funny.
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